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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25046416">Jimmy’s best friend</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imzadi_Deanna/pseuds/Imzadi_Deanna'>Imzadi_Deanna</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Gen, sorry - Freeform, the dog dies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:15:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,165</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25046416</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imzadi_Deanna/pseuds/Imzadi_Deanna</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim’s dog had always been there for him, through his mom leaving, his brother leaving, through tarsus and all the shit that came with it. </p><p>And now, he would be there for his dog. Until the very end.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Jimmy’s best friend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>1.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There was something moving in the box on his bed. </p><p>“Go open your present.” His mom gently shoved him forward, towards the mysterious box. </p><p>He approached it slowly, jumping back when the box rattled again. He looked back at his mom. </p><p>“Just. Just open it Jimmy, c’mon.” She sighed, gesturing to the box again.</p><p>He opened the box, and an energetic puppy popped up, it’s tiny paws just reaching the lid of the box as he gazed out, taking in the room.</p><p>Jim squealed, grabbing the puppy out of the box and holding it to his chest, “A puppy! A puppy, a puppy, a puppy!” He jumped up and down.</p><p>“Ok, ok calm down.” His mom rushed in, grabbing Jim tightly by the shoulders to stop his movement, the puppy struggling in Jim’s arms. “Let's sit down before you drop the poor baby.”</p><p>His knees buckled under his mom’s grip as she pushed him down, but he was careful to cradle the puppy to his chest, laughing as it began to chew on his hoodie string. </p><p>“Jimmy, listen to me ok,” his mom sat across from him. “This is your puppy, your responsibility.”</p><p>“Ok.” He agreed. “What’s his name?”</p><p>“Whatever you want.” She gestured widely with her arms. “You’ve gotta feed him, take him for walks. And clean up his messes. It’s not Sam or Frank's job. It’s yours.”</p><p>Jim paused, looking away from his new puppy and at his mom. “You’re leaving, aren’t you.”</p><p>He didn’t phrase it as a question. He didn’t need her to confirm the obvious.</p><p>Across from him his mom’s shoulders slumped. “Yeah baby. I got a Job. But I’ll be back in a few months.”</p><p>“Take me with you.” He said quickly.</p><p>“Jimmy.”</p><p>He knew she would say no, but that didn’t stop him from asking again. “Take me with you.” </p><p>His mom looked at him, a sad look in her eyes. “I got a whole bunch of stuff for him, do you wanna go see it?”</p><p>She didn’t wait for him to reply, standing up and pulling him up with a hand on his elbow. She marched them down the stairs to the laundry in the basement. Jim held the dog tight to his chest the whole time, unable to stop the giggle as the dog sniffed at his ear, climbing up his chest to get closer to his face.</p><p>“He’s got a bed. A bunch of toys and some puppy food, make sure you only feed him as the bag says. Oh there’s also things to clean up  after him with. You’ll need to set the vacbot to do additional cleanings because of the extra shit he’ll produce. Oh and there's treats to train him.” His mum moved about the pile, picking things up for emphasis. Rushing through the explanation.</p><p>Jim felt like his throat was closing up. He knew why she was rushing.</p><p>“Mom.” He tried to get her attention but she ignored him, set on explaining everything as fast as possible.</p><p>The puppy struggled in his arms until Jim put it down. Watching him begin to pull and chew on his shoes laces.</p><p>“Jimmy, are you even listening to me?” Came his mom's exasperated voice. </p><p>“Yes, mom.” He lied.</p><p>She stopped and looked at her son, taking a deep breath. “You should feed him now, only a bit but to get him into a routine.”</p><p>“Yes, mom.” </p><p>“I’ll . . . “ She gestured to the stairs, hesitating before walking over and pulling Jim into her arms. “I love you.”</p><p>He wrapped his arms around her neck, trying to pull her as close as possible, trying to keep her with him. “I love you, too.”</p><p>She let him go far too soon. </p><p>With a kiss to the top of his head she walked away. </p><p>The puppy was still crewing on Jim’s shoelaces. Untangling them from their knots, his tail wagging so furiously his whole body shook with it. </p><p>Jim leaned down, running his fingers through the dog's soft fur, bringing his attention back to Jim as it jumped up, putting its paws on his knee and licking at his face.</p><p>“Hello. I’m Jim and you’re my puppy.” He said softly, rubbing his face against the dogs. “Mom gave you to me. So I think that makes me your mom.”</p><p>Jim ignored the sound of a suitcase rolling through the hallway.</p><p>“I’m gonna take good care of you. I’ll walk you every day. And I’ll clean up your messes.” </p><p>He ignored the sound of muffled shouting, unable to distinguish if the other voice was Sam or Frank anymore.</p><p>“Or maybe you’re more like my brother. I always wanted a little brother. Instead of a big one. Big brothers can be really mean,” He explained to the dog. “But I won’t be mean.”</p><p>“I think I’ll name you . . . Dylan.” He said. “That sounds like a little brother's name.”</p><p>He ignored the sound of the front door opening and then slamming shut. </p><p>Dylan, his new little brother, licked at the tears that began to run down his face.</p><p>“I’ll take really good care of you.” He choked out. “I promise.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>2.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dylan was a fat dog. Sam says it’s because Jim overfeeds him. But he’s sure it’s because Sam keeps feeding him under the table.</p><p>Whenever Jim points that out though he gets punched. </p><p>His solution, in all his eleven year old wisdom, was to take Dylan for more walks and lecture him during them, tell him what was wrong with his behaviour and how he hoped that Dylan would make better choices in the future.</p><p>That’s what the dads always did in the holovids. They pulled their kids aside, either off the baseball pitch or down to the beach so they could watch the waves instead of making eye contact.</p><p>Jim didn’t have access to the beach though. So a walk it was.</p><p>“Just because Sam throws the food doesn't mean you have to eat it.”</p><p>“And you need to stop peeing on the couch, and if you can get up on the couch then you definitely can get off without making such a fuss.”</p><p>“You know sometimes I don’t think you listen to a single thing I say. It does in one floppy ear and out the other.” Jim pointed out as Dylan ignored him. Sniffing and peeing on the one piece of greenery that wasn’t a damn corn stalk or the three trees in the immediate area. </p><p>“And . .  And if you keep being so destructive then nobody is going to be my friend. Sam said so.”</p><p>Dylan looked up at him before pulling on the lead, dragging him towards one of the few trees in the area.</p><p>“Is that your dog?” A voice called out from one of the aforementioned trees.</p><p>Jim turned around just in time to see a girl jump out, landing on her feet with a loud bang, amusing Dylan to run around Jim, tying him up in the leash.</p><p>“Y’know dogs are capable of emotions just as strong as you humans. It’s pretty weird you keep them on a leash.” </p><p>“He’s not smart enough to not run away though.”</p><p>“Maybe you’re just a bad pet owner.”</p><p>“He’s a puppy he doesn’t know any better. Yet.” He said hotly. “When he’s older Dylan will be better trained.”</p><p>“Dylan’s a stupid name for a dog.” The girl scoffed at him, arms folded across her chest. “You’re stupid for naming him that.”</p><p>Jim scoffed right back, copying her expression. “You’re s . .stupid.” </p><p>“What a lame reply. It’s almost as lame as your face.”</p><p>“Where did you even come from?” Jim looked around, they weren’t exactly in a public park, it was farmland. </p><p>“You should call him something else.” She said finally as Jim struggled to untie the leash from around his legs, Dylan wagged his tail like crazy and tried to get the girls attention. Which she happily gave.</p><p>“No. His name is Dylan and just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean he needs to change it.” He said.</p><p>“You should call him bones.” </p><p>“Bones”</p><p>“Yeah”</p><p>“For a dog.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“A dog named Bones.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“You know what’s as lame as your ideas?” He asked rhetorically and rushed to answer when she opened her mouth to actually reply. “Your face!”</p><p>She laughed at him, loudly and snorting when she tried to breathe at the same time. </p><p>“If we put my jacket on him he’d look like a doctor!” She said excitedly once she stopped laughing.</p><p>That was genius. With a little struggle they got it onto Dylan. It was too big, they rolled the sleeves up as high as possible but it dragged on the ground still as he excitedly ran around him.</p><p>“Dr Bones.”</p><p>“His full name can be Doctor Dylan Bones.” Jim said excitedly as his new friend laughed. “My name’s Jim. What’s yours?” </p><p>“Gaila.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>3. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The cop banged on the front door to the Kirk family farm. The sound felt like Jim’s heart was being punched with every hit of the cops fist. </p><p>Behind the door he could hear Dylan barking like crazy, scraping his nails against the wood and the thud of his feet as he jumped up and down. </p><p>All too soon he heard his uncle kicking the dog to the side as he undid the locks. Looking like he was already a third of the way through a bottle of scotch as he threw the door open.</p><p>“The fuck’s going on?” He slurred.</p><p>“Are you James Kirk’s legal guardian?” The man tightened his grip on Jim’s elbow, shoving him forward.</p><p>“What’s he done now?”</p><p>“Destruction of property and disorderly conduct. He is required to appear in court this following Monday.” With that his arm was released. The cop handed his uncle a piece of paper with all the information on Jim’s crime. </p><p>Jim felt like he uncle was being handed a permission slip to kill him.</p><p>He darted into the house, determined to get as far away as possible bef-</p><p>“What the fu- My fucking car?” Frank's voice boomed after him. The front door slamming shut. </p><p>Jim tried to duck into the kitchen, knowing he could escape through the living room and slip out the back that way.</p><p>“The fuck you think you’re going?” Frank was right behind him, having caught him faster than Jim thought possible given his inebriated state.</p><p>“Let me go.” Jim screamed as Frank's hand came down on his shoulder, wrenching him backwards.</p><p>“You think just because your deadbeat brother decided to pack up and ship off to god knows where that you get to pick up and be the family rebel?” Frank shoved him, his shoulder colliding hard with the wall. He struggled to push back off, feeling like his legs weren’t going to support him.</p><p>“You think that you get to trash my fucking car?” His uncle screeched, shoving him into the opposite wall once he had finally managed to right himself. “Drive it over a fucking cliff what just because you’re a bit sad.”</p><p>“Because your fuck up of a brother and stupid bitch mother don’t love you enough to stay you gotta break my shit.” He shoved Jim’s again, this time making him fall to the ground with a bang. He landed on his wrist, causing a shooting pain all the way up to his shoulder.</p><p>Dylan bursted into the room, Jumping over Jim and snarling at Frank, teeth bared and hackles raised.</p><p>“Jesus fucking Christ, call your dog off Jimmy.” Frank backed up, tripping over his own feet and falling to the ground. “Fuck sake!”</p><p>Jim took the opportunity to lurch to his feet, wrist held tightly to his chest as he grabbed Dylans collar with his other hand, pulling him through the house and away from their uncle.</p><p>He shot up the stairs, taking them two at a time to get to his bedroom, slamming the door and engaging the mechanical and electronic lock he had installed for this very reason before darting under his bed. </p><p>He allowed himself to take in a deep breathe for what felt like the first time in minutes. Shoving it back out of his chest with a harsh noise as he struggled to pull in another.</p><p>Dylan shoved himself under the bed with him, his nose to jims ear as he whined, tail thumping on the floor like crazy as Jimmy struggled to breathe. </p><p>“It’s ok. It’s gonna be ok.” He wasn’t sure who he was trying to comfort more, him or Dylan. </p><p>His uncles loud footsteps thundered through the house, feeling like it was shaking the very floor Jim’s was cowering on. His door shook as his uncle slammed his fists against it, screaming out to him through the much too thin wood that separated them.</p><p>“You’re gonna learn there are fucking-” He slammed his fists against Jim’s door twice. “-Consequences to your fucking actions Jimmy!”</p><p>Jim scrunched his eyes shut, burying his face in Dylan’s fur and letting the whining noises he made drown out the screams of his uncle, pretending the banging was just Dylan's tail on the ground </p><p>With a loud sob Jim let himself imagine, imagine that his mom was coming home early, imagine that Sam hadn’t actually left, imagine he was actually hanging out with gaila again. Wishing he was anywhere but here. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>4.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He was weak, he was exhausted just from travelling from the hospital to the farm house.</p><p>It had been the hardest eight months of Jim’s life.</p><p>The steps Jim had had no trouble climbing his whole life felt like an impossible task as his mom rested a hand on his back, her other gently gripping his elbow, helping him climb them to his bedroom.</p><p>“You need your rest.”</p><p>“All I’ve been doing is resting.” </p><p>“And all you will be doing is getting more rest.”</p><p>“Woohoo.”</p><p>She helped him lay in bed, being too careful with him. Like he would break if he went down too fast.</p><p>An awkward silence filled the room as she sat down in his desk chair, watching him as he shifted around to get comfy.</p><p>She opened her mouth a few times. Closing them with a snap after a few moments. Like clockwork. Open. . . .  Close . . .  Open . . .  Close.</p><p>“Thanks.” He said finally. “For helping me up other stairs.”</p><p>“Of course. You’re welcome. It’s no trouble.” She said fast. Too fast. Like she couldn’t decide what response she wanted to go with.</p><p>Fuck this was awkward. </p><p>“Jimmy I-” She started.</p><p>And here it comes. The talk. She’s finally built up the courage to ask.</p><p>He didn’t want to have this conversation. He would give anything not to have this conversation</p><p>Jim’s door slammed open, hitting the wall with a loud crash as a blur bursted into his room, jumping up onto his bed and slamming into him with all the force of a spacecraft at warp eight. </p><p>Dylan barked loudly, body shaking with the movement of his tail, making him look like a very furry worm as he pushed himself against Jim, whining and licking at his face.</p><p>“Hey boy.” Jim said, hands coming up to try and defend himself. </p><p>“Dylan!” His mum said, jumping up and grabbing him by the collar, attempting to pull him off of Jim’s lap.</p><p>“No, no leave him.” Jim batted her hands away from Dylan’s collar and pulled the dog close to him.  Smiling as the dog tried to crawl even more on top of him, making the whiniest noises Jim had ever heard.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah I’m back boy, I’m here.” Jim ran his fingers through Dylan’s fur. Scrunching up his ears and rubbing at his fat face. “I missed you. Sorry you couldn’t come with me. I’m here now.”</p><p>Jim felt the sharp sting of tears, his nose tingling as the first few slipped down his face. “I’m here.” </p><p>Winona took a step back, arms wrapped around her body as the dog gave her son more comfort in three minutes then she’d been able to in the weeks he’d been back on earth. </p><p>“I’m here.” Jim kept repeating as tears ran down his face, pulling the dog as close as possible to him, letting the dog's steady heartbeat sooth him, feeling it beat against his own as he cuddled his dog, even his stinky breath bringing him comfort.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jim startled awake, a scream on the tip of his tongue which he convulsively swallowed down, hand flying up to his mouth to help. They didn’t happen as often as they used to, finally dying down after a few years.</p><p>But when they did happen, Jim was left shaken for days at a time, the vivid memories coming to the forefront of his mind and refusing to leave. The screaming of the four thousand people dying, the ringing of the phasers, the thudding of the bodies.</p><p>A whine and a lick to his hand  brought him back to the present, his head snapping to the side to look at Dylan.</p><p>Tail waving madly, his dog pushed himself up on the bed, cuddling up to Jim. </p><p>“Hey bones, sorry I woke you.” He scratched at his dog's tummy in apology.</p><p>He tried to close his eyes as he lay back down in bed, willing his heart to slow down, willing his limbs to stop shaking.</p><p>He felt like there was an itching under his skin as he lay there, he could feel his blood moving through his body, he could feel every strand of hair on his head. </p><p>He had to move.</p><p>Shooting out of bed Jim threw on the nearest jacket and shoes he could find, stumbling blindly in the dark room before practically throwing himself down the stairs. </p><p>He was out in the cool Iowan air before he could second guess his actions, door bouncing against the wall as he walked aimlessly into the dark.</p><p>The moon illuminated just enough he could see his breath as it froze in the air around him. He walked until his legs ached, until the dark of the night faded to bring in the dawn of a new day. </p><p>Panting down by his legs was Dylan, slumped over but looking like he was smiling as his tongue lolled out of his mouth, leaving a huge puddle of saliva where it rested on the dirt. </p><p>“Hey Dylan.” Jim smiled down at his loyal dog, “You doing ok down there.”</p><p>His dog huffed up at him, rolling onto his back to entice a belly rub out of jim. </p><p>He happily obliged. </p><p>“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Dylan.” Jim confessed.</p><p>“Tarsus was so bad. It was so bad . . . I almost took you with me. I was so worried about leaving you here with frank. I thought, I thought that maybe he wouldn’t feed you. Or he’d sell you.” Jim choked out, bringing a hand up to rub furiously at his eyes. “I thought that maybe he’d even just get so mad one day he’d take you out back and shoot you. I was so scared for you.</p><p>“But. I’m really glad I didn’t. I was scared you would die here. But you definitely would have died over there.” He finally voiced. “Pets were one of the first things to go once the food ran out.</p><p>“But. I really missed you. I missed you so much. I feel so selfish but. I wish you had been there. It would have been easier with my best friend at my side.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Over the next few days Jim struggled to eat, struggled to exist beyond the shell of a person he felt he was. But through all of that, Dylan was there. Reminding him when it was time to eat. Reminding him when it was time for him to take him for a walk- one that wasn’t at two in the morning. </p><p>And it became easier. Slowly but surely. Dylan would wait for Jim to eat before he would, he would demand affection when Jim felt like he was falling apart. The constant walks made him feel more human as the sun beat down on his skin.</p><p>He was going to be ok.</p><p>He had his dog by his side.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>5.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They were having an old fashioned dance part. Just like they used to when they were younger. There was a pillow fort, there were half eaten pizzas laying about and music  blaring loudly from their speakers- their go to favourite song playing as loud as they could stand.</p><p>They jumped around the room, dodging the dogs claws as he jumped with them, singing as the dog howled along to the lyrics. Jumping up on the furniture and running around the room.</p><p>“Go Dr. Bones. Go” Gaila yelled as the dog ran around in a circle, chasing his tail just like he used to when he was a pup. Just as enthusiastic as always, if not just a tad slower.</p><p>They cheered when he caught it and collapsed on the floor with Dylan as he lay on the ground panting. </p><p>“I wish I wasn’t going.” Gaila said once the song ended, melancholy lacing her voice.</p><p>“Fuck off no you don’t,” Jim bumped his head against the top of hers. “This is all you’ve been talking about for months.”</p><p>“Yeah and now it’s here I’ve changed my mind.”</p><p>“You’re just nervous because it’s starfleet.” He sighed. “You’ll get on the shuttle tomorrow and you’ll zoom away from this shit hole and be happy and a genius and blow everyone away with the power of your mind.” </p><p>“Come with me.” She had said this multiple times in the past month. He gave her the same answer every time. </p><p>“Can’t.”</p><p>“Why not.”</p><p>“I don’t want to.” They both knew he was lying. </p><p>“Besides. No pets allowed in starfleet. Can’t be leaving my Dr. Bones behind.” He threw the pizza crust he had been playing with into the air, watching as Dylan expertly leaped into the air to catch it. Landing with a thud and a whine. </p><p>He instantly felt bad. “Sorry boy. C’mere.”</p><p>“He ok?” Gaila asked. </p><p>“Yeah.” Jim said quickly, pulling his dog into his lap. “He’s just old.” </p><p>Gaila looked concerned, sitting up as well and reaching over to pat the old dog.</p><p>They sat in silence, taking in the grey that now surrounded Dylan's eyes.</p><p>“I’ll miss you.” He finally said, not looking at Gaila as he continued to stroke Dylan’s fur.</p><p>“I’ll miss you, too.” She said, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his shoulders.</p><p>He tried to discreetly wipe his eyes on Dylan, embarrassed about being so stupidly emotional. Dylan held still while he did it, ever the loyal friend.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>+1</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Something was wrong with Dylan. But it was fine.</p><p>It was only small things, his legs collapsing underneath him, seeming to twitch more than before, not wanting to eat as much.</p><p>Jim just figured he was getting old. Everything was fine.</p><p>He took him on less walks, when making his own food he would give Dylan some of it so he would still eat. He even moved downstairs so Dylan wouldn’t have to climb them.</p><p>Everything was fine . . .  Until it wasn’t.</p><p>He’d just finished making their morning meal when pained noises started pouring out of Dylan’s mouth, he bolted up from where he had been resting in his daybed and began to run around the house, slamming into walls and furniture as he went, his back legs arching up high at seemingly unnatural angles as he continued to scream. </p><p>Jim bolted after him, frantically asking what was wrong, reaching down to grab Dylan before backing away as the dog continued to writhe around, dragging himself on his front paws like he was trying to run from something while his back legs continued to shoot out at awkward angles. </p><p>Finally deciding on an action Jim grabbed Dylan, holding him to his chest as best he could as he continued to twitch in his arms, Jim ran with him, kicking the front door open instead of wasting time trying to open it. Running to his car and driving like mad to the vets.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Spinal seizure.” Jim parroted back.</p><p>“It’s quite common in his breed, and age,” She continued to gently explain, running her fingers gently down the dogs neck as Jim continued to clutch him tight to his chest. “We can give him pain killers, as many as you want. To make it easy for him, make him feel a lot less pain for however long he has left. Or if you’re ready we could go the other direction.”</p><p>Jim felt like he could hear the blood rushing through his ears.</p><p>“There’s a good chance even with the painkillers that he won’t be able to move his back legs, he may not even be able to tell when he has to go to the bathroom.” </p><p>Jim couldn’t stop the tears from running down his face. Falling harder when the vet began to dab at his face with a tissue. “I’m more than happy to give you the medications for him, but I do urge you to consider his quality of life.</p><p>“What would you like to do?”</p><p>Jim swallowed convulsively around the lump in his throat. “Meds. I want to try the meds.”</p><p>The vet nodded, understandingly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It took Jim two weeks. </p><p>Two weeks of watching his dog struggle to get up, arguing with himself that it was a good sign that he could get up but also feeling like shit every time Dylan stumbled, every time he struggled to hold his weight or began to drag himself around the house because, as the vet explained, his brain wasn’t sending the correct signals down to his legs anymore.</p><p>It took two weeks of repeatedly wiping Dylan down with baby wipes after his meals. Wiping him down when he fell down while peeing or dragged himself down through it. Two weeks of trying to get Dylan to stay laying down in his beds next to Jim. Two weeks of tears and heartache.</p><p>It took a phone call to Gaila, for Jim to finally accept the inevitable.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“He’s just . . . He’s not living anymore. He’s just existing.”</p><p>“Do you want me to be there? I can be there in two days, three tops.”</p><p>“No. No it’s fine. You enjoy the rest of your vacation. Second year of Starfleet isn’t going to be easy.”</p><p>“Maybe Dylan would like it if I was there as well though.”</p><p>“He’s fourteen years old and mostly blind I don’t think he’s even going to know he’s being put down.”</p><p>There was a long pause.</p><p>“I don’t mind, Jimmy. I’m happy to be there.”</p><p>‘It’s fine. I’ll talk to you later.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jim booked the last appointment the vet had that day. There was no point in delaying any longer.</p><p>He gave Dylan his last round of meds in a chunk of chocolate, spoiling him. What damage could it do at this point? </p><p>He spent the day just holding him, taking him outside regularly so he could feel the breeze, brushing his fingers through his fur. Savouring every last moment with him until the time came that he had to put Dylan into the car and leave for the vet.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The vet had never felt more lonely. </p><p>They didn’t make him wait.</p><p>They pulled him into a room at the very back of the clinic, allowing him to sit on a couch, Dylan resting as comfortably as possible on his lap. The vet was explaining the procedure, placing a towel on Jim’s lap, under Dylan just in case. Telling him she’d be back with the medication in a few minutes.</p><p>He placed Dylan's head on his shoulder, cuddling his dog gently against his chest. </p><p>Dylan whined in his ear, “I’m here. I’m here, boy.” Jim said softly.</p><p>“I’ll be here until it’s over, I promise, I won’t leave. Even when you stop breathing I will be here.” Jim knows he was starting to ramble, feeling like he couldn’t breathe.</p><p>The vet came back way too quickly, the hypospray loaded in her hand.</p><p>“Are you ready?” She asked. He nodded his head.</p><p>She approached slowly, giving him enough time to say no if he needed more time. He was grateful for that.</p><p>She brought the Hypo to Dylan’s shoulders, gathering the loose fur covered skin in her hand before injecting him.</p><p>It was the single loudest noise Jim had heard in his life, his heart felt like it was exploding as he saw the liquid vanish from the canister, into his best friend's blood stream.</p><p>He couldn’t stop the loud sob that left his mouth, knowing it was too late to say no, that this was now it, his dog was going to die in his arms.</p><p>The vet squeezed Jim’s shoulder before exiting the room with a quiet. “When you’re ready just press the buzzer.” </p><p>He could feel Dylan’s heartbeat under his hand. Could feel as Dylan's limbs grew heavier, his front paw sliding down Jim’s arm. </p><p>“I love you. You’re a good boy. You’re the best dog in the whole universe and I love you. And even though you’re not going to be around, I’ll still love you. And I will still think of you always.” In the back of Jim’s mind he knew the drug would be kicking in, he knew that Dylan was most likely unconscious at this point, that he couldn’t hear him, wouldn’t understand what he was saying even if he was. But he couldn’t stop, he had to get the words out, he needed his best friend to know he was here.</p><p>“You were always there for me, after Tarsus and Frank, after Sam left, when mom kept leaving, you were there, you were my good boy. Through  all of that shit. You were there. And I am here. I am here for you and I love you.”</p><p>He feels Dylan slump in his arms, head lolling off of his shoulder as he supported all of his weight.</p><p>Jim felt like the world was falling apart around him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sitting on the bar stool Jim nursed his tenth drink of the night, he couldn’t feel his limbs, couldn’t even feel his face. Couldn’t feel as he meticulously continued to pull the remaining bits of solid out from under his fingernails. The bits that seemed to just stick to him no matter how much he washed his hands.</p><p>If he’d know so much would remain staining his hands he would have worn gloves when he put his best friends back into the earth. </p><p>The next things happened in a blur. The sound of a crystal clear voice, the melodic sound of the same voice laughing at whatever he had said, a less charming voice booming out from his right side. Sharp pain as he was punched repeatedly in the face while sprawled prone over a table.</p><p> </p><p>“I dare you to do better.”</p><p> </p><p>“Four years? . . . I’ll do it in three.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing left but my bones.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wanted it to end on a bittersweet note. Obviously this is all fictional. However. The plus one is based on my actual real life dog, Dylan. He’s a beautiful old fourteen year old Cavalier.</p><p>You were a good boy, Dylan. You will be missed.</p></blockquote><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
  <ul>
    <li>
        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25090501">Jimmy’s best friend [Podfic]</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/illogicallydreaming/pseuds/illogicallydreaming">illogicallydreaming</a>
    </li>
  </ul>
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